what a waste, huh?

Few days from today, I have to go back to IPG. Heh, holidays y u so short?! Idk what to expect for the upcoming sem. It gonna be the same but hopefully I'll be a better...person la since I will reach 21 during the last week of this month. A young adult now, so the drama should be kept privately inside my head. Haha.

Reaching 21 and achieving nothing is...normal? Lately I do feel like everyone is moving so fast leaving me stuck alone in the world of confusion to the extent that I still don't know what I want to do/have. Sometimes I think I know what I want yet the thoughts seem to be easily faded away all in a sudden. 21 y o, I should at least start doing something so that I won't regret to reflect how stupid I was to waste my young days. The prob is; what should I do? A tough question that only myself can answer (I know that!)

Actually I do have several plans of what I want to achieve before reaching 30, but they are like things that most of us want, so they are excluded (mine:undergraduate degree, masters, Ph.D and some people might plan to get themselves assets like cars and houses or even start a family) 

Here I am talking about...the other things rather than studying that I should do. Some people are good in business, so they are able to start selling things beginning from younger age and they are able to make money from the activity which is good for them. Meanwhile some use their talents to create beautiful stuff from craft felting, ceramic painting, handicraft, quilling and the list goes on (I'm kind of attracted to these activities). Oh ya, some are able to get their manuscript to get published in such a young age (me likey this too). Ha, I heard some of the young people also participate in volunteering activities, thumbs up for them. And young people who travel here and there, uuu i do adore them, never mind let me become old people who travel later, hehe. 

Do you see my point? 

I think I am the kind of people who don't really do anything during spare time except...sleeping, watching tv, surfing the Internet to get connected with friends while playing online games and reading. I'm grateful that at least books can get me distracted from the Internet, heh. 

I think it is a waste for just dreaming without really do anything to make the dreams become reality. Does this sound...so adult? wkwkwkwwk

whatever it is, I believe in this

Bye Sem Three!

Pheww, finally semester three has come to its end. Actually I already on holiday since last week, I guess, eh, yeahh I think so. Hihi. Before holiday of course we have to face the final examination which is so err so so. Well it's normal (for me!), some you can answer and some you just guess the answers. Whatever it is, may miracle happen, fuhh fuhh. 

From January and now the end of May almost comes. Thus it means there are six months left in 2013. Many things had happened, some are sweet yet some taste quite bitter. Just swallow everything, it's the recipe of living and loving life. 

January, February, March, April and May...A lot of memories to be cherished. May they always be remembered because they had brought so much happiness and joy in my teenage (lagi ke) life. Through the memories, I've learnt a lot; friendship, cooperation, tolerance, long-distance relationship, heartbrokenness, bonding, trust, betrayal, patience, anger, silence, appreciation and the list goes on and on and on, you name it. Things that I've been through, may not the same with others but somehow they are related, we human we are unique and we learn from others' experiences as well. 

January

The exciting part is when Farhana paid me a visit here! Ngeee

March

Class Party. Ihikss

Class trip. Ngeee.

Lunch with Syafiah!

April

BIG (Bina Insan Guru). Motivation programme with students. 

May

Girls day out!

:-)

Your words might kill someone

Heart to heart talk. Fuhh. I don't really care what people want to say about me, because I don't give a damn on it. Is it? Not really, I kinda taking what people say quite seriously. People may don't intend to make a harsh comment but I interpret the message wrongly. This leads to some serious thinking of why people say such thing to me. So I ended up feeling sad. Ceh.

I can only recall three incidents of the issue that I raise here. It's just some critiques from people that with intention perhaps to advise me to become a better person. The first incident is quite acceptable, it is a comment from a teacher that I respect (Happy Teacher's Day btw) and what he said totally change my view of looking at myself, I told you, it leaves such a big impact. I still remember almost everything; the setting, the words that he used and the reason why he said such thing until today. But I just don't really know whether I've changed into good or not. Oh, I did take his advice. But what he said really bother me, a lot!

Another incident that is still clear in my head is when somebody was mad at us (the students) and he leaved umm err for me it is a harsh comment but for others it may mean nothing. He said something when he is in anger so maybe I shouldn't take his words seriously but yeah me being me, so I cannot resist myself from taking the words seriously.

Ha and the last incident happened recently. I hate to have this thought but I think there was somebody who refer his comment to me, to what I said to be more precise. And he linked it with a sarcastic comment that touched on the current issue (during that time). I feel hurt as he simply did the generalisation without really know how much I really care on the thing that he assumed that I don't care. Like I said earlier, this is only my thought of interpreting what he said so it is not necessarily represented what he meant. Maybe I read his message differently from his intention. *Woman's instinct is always accurate somehow*

I try to be positive by forgetting all these incidents but I can't. So let them be guide for me so that I won't do the same thing to others. I mean, words really can tear you from the inside, so be careful with words because your words might kill someone somehow.

berkawan sampai syurga

 Haha, is it acceptable? For me, it is. Based on my research (la sangat) most of my friends don't share the same views with me. Whatever, it is I don't really take this matter seriously. I mean, I don't mind which side they want to support. Just some words do sound quite harsh for me, from both sides frankly. It's like why people have to say bad words about the people who do not hold their views. Let it be, let people support anyone that they like, somehow I think it is better to leave things like that. I feel uncomfortable when people start to argue things. That's why I dislike debate. Pheww

Some also claim that the 92's people were not qualified to vote that's why things still don't change. Idk, maybe they are right according to what I've seen on social media from day to day. To see their support to the opposition, hmm it is quite surprising that most of them are very brave and honest to share their opinions. Well done friends though I'm not on your side, frankly. If you can be frank, I also can be frank enough to share my opinion but I don't have that courage like you, wikiwikiwikiwiki.

Though we hold a different view, hopefully we still manage to keep this bonding as a good friend forever. Maybe during the general election season, I will play safe by holding my tongue, keep silent as silence won't do any harm I guess. Later, the opposition might win, they might take Malaysia, another five years, ten years, some days, perhaps, who knows. I love Malaysia and I respect the leaders but if such thing happens I'm thinking to migrate to other place, If the opposition doesn't win also I still want to go on with the plan just for the sake of achieving my dreams.

Heh. This is an immature thinking of 21-year-old girl (still 20 actually, ehem ehem), don't count on it too much, but I do... think of migrating, someday somehow.

After five years huh, we don't know if we're still alive or not.

KL International Book Fair :3

Hi all. I'm going to share something with you guys. Aha, so last Saturday I went to Kuala Lumpur International Book Fair. Owww I'm so excited and glad that this year I managed to come here and last time I also had a chance to go to Big Bad Wolf, maigadd, 2013 is awesome in term of purchasing books la.

Nothing much did happen, really. Haha. Not that I expected something or what oh but I have to be honest that I didn't expect that there were soooo many people during that day. In fact we were kind of stuck in the middle of Popular booth and almost collapse due to insufficient oxygen inside the hall. I am exaggerating the fact but there's a little truth behind it, seriously.

The highlight of this event was to meet my cutie pie Mumu! This adorable girl remains cute the way she is just like few years ago when I first met her. She is someone who looks cute with a cute heart. Aahh, people who know her will agree with my statement. :')

Besides she made me such a wonderful doodle. Huuu, I'm so toucheeeeed!

Apart from that I am so happy too that I am now a proud owner of my friend's books. Auww, I would like to congratulate my cool buddy Yui for his masterpiece. Honestly, I bought the book because I want to read his story first. Hihi. Start making another storyyy and it would be an honour if you put me inside the story. Please, please, please. *wink*

Oh and I am so happy to get autograph from Piston, the cartoonist from Ujang. Haha. I was so shy at first. Yala, I am an introverted person whaaaaat. Lucky Mary and Yamna forced me... Haha. Btw I feel quiteeee segan la to tell him my nickname. And you know I get a problem to tell my full name to strangers too. Haha.

witnessing something unpleasant

What I'd seen today may sound ridiculous. I realise some may unable to believe it. I am the kind of people who find it's hard to believe things that are out of my sight like when people say they see ghost or something somewhere. But..today I did see it from my eyes. Not, not the ghost but...it's worse that it..  

Idk whether this story can be published publicly. Hmm, I think it's better not to expose it here because it seems like a serious matter. It involves many things. I might end up to be interrogated. Heh.

However, it feels so sick to be the only one who witnessed the thing. The thing keeps playing on my mind. The people who came with me didn't see it, so I can't blame them that they don't feel the sickening feeling like I do. 

Idk how to tell but I'm so terrified. When some make it as joke, I laughed together but this thing kind of killing me inside. I hate the feeling that I am the only one who noticed the thing. And I do feel insecure when people doubt it, but I don't take it personally as I realise I don't believe things easily too. 

It's just...your heart feel like exploding when you see such thing with your eyes. 

I hate it that this thing leaves me a stigma on strangers like a generalisation that strangers are evil, so don't talk to them. It's somehow hurtfully true when I recalled the event that happened today. 

Despite of what had happened today, I still believe in strangers' love. I mean, it's human nature to love, protect and pray for one another though we don't know each other. There are just some psychotics who break the rules of human. Hehhhh.

I hope what I'd seen today is not like what I'd think it is but..I am pretty sure that the thing that I'd seen is what I'd thought it is.

Thanks to Allah to open my heart and eyes during that time. Please my muslim brothers and sisters, recite Ayat Kursi before you are leaving to somewhere. It is a shield from the evil, insyaAllah. 

And this doa...

taken from HERE

"Dari Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu bahwa Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda: “Jika seseorang keluar dari rumahnya lalu membaca: Bismillahi tawakkaltu ‘alallah, walaa haula wala quwwata illa billah, maka malaikat akan berkata kepadanya: “kamu telah diberi petunjuk oleh Allah Ta’ala, dicukupkan dalam segala keperluanmu dan dijaga dari semua keburukan”, sehingga syaitan pun tidak boleh mendekatinya, dan syaitan yang lain berkata kepada temannya: Bagaimana mungkin kamu dapat memperdaya seorang yang telah diberi petunjuk, dicukupkan dan dijaga oleh Allah Ta’ala ?” (HR Abu Dawud (no. 5095), at-Tirmidzi (no. 3426) dan Ibnu Hibban (no. 822), dinyatakan shahih oleh imam at-Tirmidzi, Ibnu Hibban dan Syaikh al-Albani)"

Taken from http://sitik.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/doa-keluar-rumah/   

live your college life after getting spm result

SPM result already came out. Congratulations to all my dearest SPM '12 candidates. You probably heard this for zillionth time: SPM is not an end of life. Err, it is true mannn. You still breathe and last night (most of) you had a delicious dinner with family/friends (except me, these few days we always chose the wrong restaurant, I wonder why they dare to sell food when the food served is disappointing) 

So it was the day when I got my result and absolutely I didn't manage to score all A's. It was so obvious somehow. Haha. You know they like the idea to call straight A's students according to class and 'no giliran' so mostly everyone whose number is earlier than me had been called out. The list was continued with the person who sat behind me during SPM. It left me with mixed feeling to notice that, "Oh, okay, I didn't get straight A's..Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hu hu hu hu "

I don't like the idea to call students who get straight A's onto the stage, to be frank. I couldn't bear to look at parents' faces who look at other people's children walk onto the stage meanwhile their children are not being called out. My parents (my dad especially because he didn't even know how many subjects I took actually) told me that they didn't really mind what my result is actually, Idk they said it. 

I faced the phase of frustration due to my result to realise later that how my mind had become so exam-oriented. When I enter this education field, I am aware that the main purpose of education is not to achieve the excellent result but it goes beyond that. There are so many hidden things that I couldn't see before. 

That's only introduction. My point is...

Live your college life. Take any course that you feel you will fit in and enjoy. No point I guess to force yourself to enjoy things that obviously you don't enjoy. I think, you shouldn't take any course for the sake of it sounds good, great or to please people. If you get excellent result and you want to pursue study in unfamiliar courses for straight A's students (it means you desire does not meet society expectation), so ignore them. It shows that how shallow they are to think straight A's students should become what they are pleased to hear only. I have one good friend who gets straight A's and now is enjoying his journey to become a chef, Oh I adore his choice so much. 

It is sad to read some comments on Najwa Latiff's article in a blog about her SPM result. It's Najwa's story and below it, there are so many comments that make me feel uncomfortable to realise how some people really do not show their appreciation on education. I don't think education can only be measured by examination result and that's how some people look at it. They argue why Neelofa 'only' take business course. What they mean by 'only'? They claim she should take other professional courses to suit her result. This makes me wonder, is it wrong a straight A's students choose business course? If yes, why? I don't see any valid reason to say that business is not a good course for that student. 

There are a lot of courses to be explored and all of them will benefit the world. So nothing is useless. Don't ever say this course is not good enough than that one. That one is better than this one. Come on, just enjoy the sweetness of education, like being grateful for the joy of gaining new knowledge every day. 

Most importantly, all things happen for reason/s.